Saturday, September 27, 2014

Triumph--A Review

But if I could find the strength not to bow to an evil system, I could at least hold on to my self-respect.  
If you understand what you're doing and why, an abuser can never wholly control you.--pg. 148 of Triumph
--I have done 2 posts about Carolyn Jessop and her first book, EscapeShe is an inspirational woman of courage.  I read her first book, Escape, and couldn't put it down.  I knew I needed to read her second one, Triumph.

--It has been therapeutic to read how she escaped a life and marriage that involved emotional, verbal and physical abuse on a level that most people can't imagine.  She was indoctrinated to believe that all of the abuse was okay, and that she was evil if she wanted to stand up to it or even escape from it.

--It has helped me process my own thoughts and beliefs about how people can misuse religion to sometimes lead women into bondage and keep them there. I talk about this in my post, The Treatment of Women.

--Jessop's first book is all about her growing up in the FLDS cult and how she escaped.  Her 2nd book is about the aftermath.  She is able to take on the FLDS and win, not once, but twice.
Winning custody of my children built a bridge halfway across the ravine.  Winning child support completed the job.  I hope the landmark ruling in my case is an inspiration to all women in difficult or abusive relationships.  You can stand up to a perpetrator and win.--p. 246
--She learns how to stand on her own two feet, and find real, unconditional love.  She has inspired me and empowered me in my own life.

--Below, are some more of my favorite quotes from the book:
Within that first year of my marriage, the family saw me as an out-of-control member because I refused to submit totally to its power elite.  While this was often an uncomfortable position.  I possessed something no one else in the family had: the real power that flows from self-respect.--p. 149

Bedrock Beliefs
1) Claim the power of no
2) Set your own standards
3) Hold on to whatever power you do have
4) Forget about perfection, do the best you can
5) Do whatever it takes to protect those you love

Victimhood requires our acquiescence, and I was opting out.--p. 161

I no longer wanted to fix the people who had hurt me.  I released them all to their miserable and mean-spirited worlds.  I was setting myself free and the effort was empowering.--p. 191
I especially found her thoughts on forgiveness to be life-changing:
It's been said that desiring revenge is like swallowing poison and waiting for someone else to die.  I believe that.  It took discipline and work for me to release all the anger I felt toward Merril.  But nothing I'd ever felt compared to the relief of dumping one bad emotion after another.  Go. Goodbye. Gone.  I had no more expectations.  I no longer had to fix anything.  Once I forgave Merril, his power over me evaporated.

I talked about the liberation of forgiveness.  I explained that letting go of my anger did not mean that what had happened to me was okay.  It will never be okay, but I refuse to let the past sabotage my life or curtail my energy, purpose, and joy.  I wanted no ties to my perpetrators; forgiveness cut them all.--p. 194
--There were only 2 things that I disagreed with her on in this book.  1) She voted for Obama and talked about how wonderful that was (LOL).  But I am excited for her that got to experience the privilege of voting.

2) She has some strong views on how homeschooling should be more regulated by the government.  She thinks this would help there be less educational abuse within cults like the FLDS.  Cults don't adhere to any kinds of laws, such as marrying only one wife, sexual and physical abuse, etc...How would having more government regulations keep the FLDS in check?  I don't think it would, and as we all know, more government power grabs can lead to abuse of people by them.

--Other than that, the book was amazing.  A final quote:
In the fabric of our own lives, sometimes there are colors we don't want and threads we didn't choose, but the pattern that emerges is distinctly our own.--p. 256

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