Saturday, September 06, 2014

I Love Stephanie Plum!

--If you've never read one of Janet Evanovich's books about Stephanie Plum, you are missing out.

--If I had to describe the books, they are similar to Sue Grafton's series about private detective, Kinsey Milhone.  Yet, they are SO MUCH more! 

--Evanovich combines the mystery thrill that you'd get from a Sue Grafton or Mary Higgins Clark novel, and then adds A LOT of humor and romance to boot.

--The only peril about reading her books in public, is that you are constantly laughing out loud.  I often read them while waiting somewhere or while I'm working out at the gym.

--The characters are amazing.  Below are some quotes to help you learn a little bit about them and Evanovich's humor.

Stephanie's Life--
I have a hamster named Rex, a utilitarian apartment, and my toaster is broken.  My name is Stephanie Plum, and I work as a bond enforcement agent, also known as a bounty hunter, for my cousin Vinnie.

Truth is, I was a college graduate with no skills.  And after a bunch of years spent working as a bounty hunter I feared I was no longer especially smart.
Stephanie's Grandma--
She's lived with my parents since Grandpa Mazur took the big escalator to the heavenly food court in the sky.  Sometimes I think my father wouldn't mind seeing Grandma step onto that very same escalator, but I can't see it happening anytime soon.  Her steelgray hair was cut short and tightly curled on her head.  Her nails matched her bright red lipstick.  Her lavender-and-white running suit hung slack on her bony shoulders.
Stephanie's Dad--
My father paused with the tub of margarine in one hand and the butter knife in the other, and for an irrational moment I thought he might stab Grandma Mazur.
Stephanie's Mother--
Even before I touched the receiver the urge to scream told me it was my mother.
Grandma and I are a trial to her.  My mother tries hard to be a good Christian woman and a model of decorum, but Grandma and I not so much.  It isn't that we don't want to be decorous Christian women.  It's just that it doesn't always go that way.

I don't understand how you have all these accidents, my mother said.  I don't know of a single other person who's had his car blown up.
Stephanie's Cop Boyfriend--
Joe Morelli is one of those good surprises.  He's two years older than I am, and for most of my school years, spending time with Morelli was like a visit to the dark side, alluring and frightening.  He's a Trenton cop now, and he's my off-again, on-again boyfriend.  On the outside Morelli is still street tough and dangerously alluring.  On the inside Morelli is now the sexy guy with the toaster.
Stephanie's Mentor--
Sometimes I moonlight for a guy named Ranger who's extremely bad in an incredibly good way.  He's a security expert, and a bounty hunter, and he moves like smoke.  Ranger is milk chocolate on the outside...a delicious, tempting, forbidden pleasure.
Stephanie's awesome sidekick Lula--
Lula was a former hooker turned file clerk.  She'd just recently embarked on a makeover program that included dying her hair blond and then straightening it and recurling it into ringlets.  The transformation had her looking like a 230-pound black kick-ass Shirley Temple.

Lula swung her pocketbook in a wide arc and crashed it into Spiro's window, shattering the glass.  "Where there's a will, there's a way," she said.  My mouth dropped open, and when words finally came out they were in a whispered screech.  "I don't believe you did that! You just broke his window!"  "The Lord provides," Lula said.

I didn't just play the race card, Lula said.  I played the race card and the fat card.  BAM! My thinking is you gotta use what you got.  God didn't make me a big beautiful black woman for nothing.  I got cards to play.

No one gets through without a ticket, she said.  I don't care if you're a cop, the tooth fairy, or Jesus Christ.  That's blasphemy, Lula said to her.  You better watch what you say or you're going straight to hell.  God don't like people implying he needs a ticket.

--A movie was done on Evanovich's first book.  They originally were going to have Sandra Bullock play Stephanie Plum, which I think would've been a better pick.  But Katherine Heigl did a good job.  The guy they picked to play Ranger was great, but they could've done better with Morelli.

--All that said, I hope they plan on doing more movies based on her books.

--I have gotten numerous friends and even my mother to read the books, I highly recommend them!

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