Stolen Innocence--A Review

This trial has not been about religion or a vendetta.  It was simply about child abuse and preventing further abuse.

I hope that all FLDS girls and women will understand that no matter what anyone may say, you are created equal.  You do not have to surrender your rights or your spiritual sovereignty.  I know how hard it is, but please stand up and fight for your voice and power of choice.  I will continue to fight for you.--Elissa's statement after Jeff's 2007 trial (p. 422)

Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall is my sixth book in my study of the FLDS.  I have read about some amazing women, my next step will be delving into what the "lost boys" have gone through.  I am stunned at what can be done to men and women when they are in a cult.  Yet, we are all susceptible to being indoctrinated and brainwashed.

I have been immensely inspired by the women who have managed to escape the clutches of the FLDS, and even though it wasn't easy, fought to build a life for themselves and their children.

Elissa's story is especially impressive, because she started fighting back at the tender age of 14.  She was forced into marriage with a cousin she hated and was raped repeatedly.  This marriage was orchestrated by her "prophet", Warren Jeffs.  Elissa's father had already been exiled from her family by Jeffs, and her mother and sisters felt powerless to protect her.

She didn't have a way to escape then, and she thought her eternal salvation was at stake, so she stayed, but she didn't stay silent.

In the FLDS, girls and women are told to "keep sweet", which means, no matter how unhappy you are, no matter how badly you are treated, you are to pretend to be happy and be obedient to your "priesthood head".

Yet, Elissa didn't keep sweet all the time, and she actually had the nerve to speak out.  She was fortunate that she had older sisters and brothers who had escaped before her, and eventually she was able to be set free.  It wasn't easy, she had to leave behind her mother and two younger sisters.

It took years, but she even ended up being a star witness along with her sister, Rebecca Musser at Warren Jeffs' first trial in 2007.

Below are some significant quotes from her book:

Our religion left no room for logical reasoning and honest questioning.--p. 44

Without my nurturing older sister around, I had no one to make me feel safe in the unrest that had taken over our home and irrevocably changed out lives.--p. 49

I was making the choice that my mother had been unable to make for me and my siblings.  I was choosing to give my child the power of choice.--p.321

Elissa says it best in the last paragraph of her book:

...there are still so many young girls and women who don't yet realize that they, too, have the right to cry out against injustice.  I hope this book reaches the many young girls and women around the world whose faces I'll never see and whose names I'll never know, and that perhaps in some way my words will help them to use their strength to reclaim what is rightfully theirs--the power of choice.

Previous FLDS Posts:
The Treatment of Women
Carolyn Jessop--A Portrait of Courage
Triumph
Church of Lies
Studying the FLDS
When Men Become Gods
The Witness Wore Red

The Witness Wore Red--A Review

It started with one book, Escape, and my odyssey into studying the FLDS began. It has been therapeutic for me in dealing with my own issues with how those in the church, and other religious organizations treat women.

I was listening to, The Witness Wore Red on Cd while I was reading four of the other books on the FLDS.  It was fascinating as I listened to the different accounts of some of the key players.

I think I was able to relate, on a personal level, to Rebecca's account the most.  For some reason, I was surprised at how difficult things were for Rebecca and her sister Elissa after they escaped.  I think because they escaped before they had children, I thought things would be easier than they were for people like Carolyn, who already had 8 children.

Yet, it makes sense that things would be so hard.  They had been brainwashed and indoctrinated in a certain way for their entire lives.  Also, something that Warren Jeffs and some of the other priesthood men knew, was that even without their own children, they had scores of loved ones in the FLDS that they wouldn't want to leave.  And when you leave the FLDS, you can't just come back and visit relatives, because you are now an apostate and shunned by most of the community.

I was able to relate to Rebecca in her struggles to realize that what she was being taught about the roles of women was wrong.  And also to her trying to survive financially on the outside world.  She then had to deal with a husband who wasn't in the FLDS, but who still had some sexist views.

As I listened to the end of Rebecca's book, it gave me a lot of strength that I could face some of the things in my own life.  She escaped oppression, yet in doing that, she was severely judged by many and told she was going to hell.  We are by nature people pleasers, but sometimes doing what is right for us, will be judged by others, and that is okay.

Previous FLDS Posts:
The Treatment of Women
Carolyn Jessop--A Portrait of Courage
Triumph
Church of Lies
Studying the FLDS
When Men Become Gods

Malala Yousafzai is Awarded the Nobel Peace Prize!

In July 2013, Yousafzai addressed the United Nations, telling delegates that the Taliban "thought that bullets would silence us, but they failed.
"The terrorists thought that they would change my aims and stop my ambitions," she said defiantly, "but nothing changed in my life, except this: Weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born."--Scott Neuman

I am in the middle of reading I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban.  So, I was excited when I found out that she was being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

She is one of the most amazing teenage girls I have ever seen.  Men and women alike fear the Taliban, yet Malala stood up to them at a young age.  She was shot for that courage, but survived to continue the fight for girls and women's rights to be educated.

The Norwegian Nobel Committee had this to say:

Despite her youth, Malala Yousafzai has already fought for several years for the right of girls to education, and has shown by example that children and young people, too, can contribute to improving their own situations. This she has done under the most dangerous circumstances. Through her heroic struggle she has become a leading spokesperson for girls' rights to education.

Malala is the youngest ever to receive the award.  NPR had this to say:

Yousafzai, 17, defied the Taliban in her town of Mingora in Swat Valley, near the volatile western frontier dividing Pakistan and Afghanistan. In October 2012, Taliban militiamen boarded a school bus she was on, singled her out and shot her in the left side of the head. Two other girls were also wounded in the attack.

Left in critical condition, Yousafzai received an outpouring of international support and was moved to the U.K. for treatment.
"Malala battled for her life, and came back to become an international ambassador for the rights of girls to be educated," NPR's Julie McCarthy says.

She is a previous recipient of the Sakharov Prize and was first nominated for the Peace Prize last year. She now lives in Birmingham, England, but the Taliban have threatened to target her again.

Malala is sharing the prize with Kailash Satyarthi.  The ironic part is that Malala is from Pakistan and Kailash is from India, two countries that have been at odds for a long time.

Time Magazine had this to say:

The 2014 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded jointly to Kailash Satyarthi and Malala Yousafzai “for their struggle against the suppression of children and young people and for the right of all children to education,” the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced on Friday.

Both Satyarthi, a 60-year-old Hindu from India, and Yousafzai, a 17-year-old Muslim from Pakistan, are renowned children’s rights activists. Malala became a household name around the globe when, in October 2012, she was shot in the head by a Taliban assassin while on her way to school. The young girl had been an outspoken advocate of girls’ education before the shooting. Afterward, she became an international beacon for the cause and was chosen as TIME’s runner-up for Person of the Year in 2012. She was later named one of the world’s 100 Most Influential People. Now, at age 17, she is the youngest-ever Nobel Laureate.

For Yousufzai, who continues to receive threats from the Pakistani Taliban who attempted to silence her demands to be educated two years ago, receiving the Nobel Peace Prize offers no better, and no louder, rebuttal.

Malala has a bright future ahead of her.  I imagine that maybe some day, it is possible that she can break barriers and become the Prime Minister of Pakistan.  That would certainly make the Taliban's blood boil.

It is Time for Women in the U.S. to Stand up for our Counterparts in the Middle East and Africa

Societies that treat women badly, are dangerous societies.--Condi Rice

--Rayhaneh Jabbari was 19 when she stabbed a man who tried to rape her.  Below is a summary of what happened:

Jabbari, who worked as a decorator, was convicted of the 2007 fatal stabbing of Morteza Abdolali Sarbandi, a former employee of the Iranian Intelligence Ministry. Jabbari, who was 19 at the time, has long maintained Sarbandi drugged her and tried to rape her after the two met at a café and she agreed to go to his office to discuss a business deal.

Sarbandi took Jabbari to a rundown building in a remote location, according to her supporters. Once there, he offered her a fruit drink which forensic tests conducted by the police determined contained a date-rape drug, according to human rights advocates.

Jabbari allegedly stabbed Sarbandi in the shoulder with a small pocket knife and fled, while Sarbandi bled to death.

Human rights advocates say the case shows the brutality and intolerance of Iran’s penal system.

--As a result of defending herself, she was sentenced to death.  Apparently, she was supposed to let him rape and kill her, especially since she is a woman.

--Liberal women here in the U.S. always claim to be for women's rights.  Yet, when it comes to the horrible circumstances that women are subjected to in the Middle East and Africa, these same women are silent.  The argument is that we shouldn't interfere in other countries' affairs.

--As a woman, I think it is time we stand up and fight against the unfair treatment of women, whether it be here or overseas.

Ways to Help:
-Aha Foundation
-MEPI
-The Status of Women in the Middle East and North Africa

Below are some examples that I have blogged about in the past:
-Girls being subjected to marriage at the age of 10
-Women being sentenced to death for marrying out of their religion
-Women sentenced to death by stoning for allegedly committing adultery
-Woman journalist held in prison in Iran for alleged espionage

Triumph--A Review

But if I could find the strength not to bow to an evil system, I could at least hold on to my self-respect.  
If you understand what you're doing and why, an abuser can never wholly control you.--pg. 148 of Triumph

--I have done 2 posts about Carolyn Jessop and her first book, Escape.  She is an inspirational woman of courage.  I read her first book, Escape, and couldn't put it down.  I knew I needed to read her second one, Triumph.

--It has been therapeutic to read how she escaped a life and marriage that involved emotional, verbal and physical abuse on a level that most people can't imagine.  She was indoctrinated to believe that all of the abuse was okay, and that she was evil if she wanted to stand up to it or even escape from it.

--It has helped me process my own thoughts and beliefs about how people can misuse religion to sometimes lead women into bondage and keep them there. I talk about this in my post, The Treatment of Women.

--Jessop's first book is all about her growing up in the FLDS cult and how she escaped.  Her 2nd book is about the aftermath.  She is able to take on the FLDS and win, not once, but twice.

Winning custody of my children built a bridge halfway across the ravine.  Winning child support completed the job.  I hope the landmark ruling in my case is an inspiration to all women in difficult or abusive relationships.  You can stand up to a perpetrator and win.--p. 246

--She learns how to stand on her own two feet, and find real, unconditional love.  She has inspired me and empowered me in my own life.

--Below, are some more of my favorite quotes from the book:

Within that first year of my marriage, the family saw me as an out-of-control member because I refused to submit totally to its power elite.  While this was often an uncomfortable position.  I possessed something no one else in the family had: the real power that flows from self-respect.--p. 149

Bedrock Beliefs
1) Claim the power of no
2) Set your own standards
3) Hold on to whatever power you do have
4) Forget about perfection, do the best you can
5) Do whatever it takes to protect those you love

Victimhood requires our acquiescence, and I was opting out.--p. 161

I no longer wanted to fix the people who had hurt me.  I released them all to their miserable and mean-spirited worlds.  I was setting myself free and the effort was empowering.--p. 191

I especially found her thoughts on forgiveness to be life-changing:

It's been said that desiring revenge is like swallowing poison and waiting for someone else to die.  I believe that.  It took discipline and work for me to release all the anger I felt toward Merril.  But nothing I'd ever felt compared to the relief of dumping one bad emotion after another.  Go. Goodbye. Gone.  I had no more expectations.  I no longer had to fix anything.  Once I forgave Merril, his power over me evaporated.

I talked about the liberation of forgiveness.  I explained that letting go of my anger did not mean that what had happened to me was okay.  It will never be okay, but I refuse to let the past sabotage my life or curtail my energy, purpose, and joy.  I wanted no ties to my perpetrators; forgiveness cut them all.--p. 194

--There were only 2 things that I disagreed with her on in this book.  1) She voted for Obama and talked about how wonderful that was (LOL).  But I am excited for her that got to experience the privilege of voting.

2) She has some strong views on how homeschooling should be more regulated by the government.  She thinks this would help there be less educational abuse within cults like the FLDS.  Cults don't adhere to any kinds of laws, such as marrying only one wife, sexual and physical abuse, etc...How would having more government regulations keep the FLDS in check?  I don't think it would, and as we all know, more government power grabs can lead to abuse of people by them.

--Other than that, the book was amazing.  A final quote:

In the fabric of our own lives, sometimes there are colors we don't want and threads we didn't choose, but the pattern that emerges is distinctly our own.--p. 256

Carolyn Jessop--A Portrait of Courage

--At 18 years of age, Carolyn Blackmore was forced to marry 50 year old Merril Jessop. She became his 4th wife. Even though she got violently ill with each pregnancy, and the last 4 endangered her life, she gave birth to 8 children.  One of whom had numerous medical needs, and required 24/7 care.

--She lived with abuse for 17 years. Her husband was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive.  He also manipulated his other wives to punish her for not being an "obedient wife".

--She finally became disillusioned with the FLDS and polygamy.  She started planning her escape in the year 2000, and was successful on April 21, 2003.

--She was the first woman to gain full custody of her children after leaving the FDLS community.


--Carolyn Jessop has written two books, Escape and Triumph: Life After the Cult--A Survivor's Lessons.  A movie was made based on her life, In God's Country.

--I have always known that polygamy was oppressive and abusive towards women and children, but I was horrified as I learned of Carolyn's story.  I am just flabbergasted that so many men, women and children can be brainwashed so completely.

--In the FLDS, everything in a woman's life is about pleasing and obeying her husband (her priesthood head).  It is through her husband that a woman is able to get to heaven.  So, the man's needs are not only more important than a woman's, but even more important than the children's needs.

--I was shocked to hear about how the children were sexually and physically abused and neglected.  The wives couldn't risk displeasing their husbands (because that would endanger their chance of getting into heaven), so children were often neglected as a result.

--Carolyn's ability to not only survive years of brainwashing and abuse, but to escape from it is a profile in courage.  She is a heroine for women of all walks of life.

The Treatment of Women!

--Right now I am listening to the book, Escape by Carolyn Jessop on CD.  It is making me think a lot about the roles of women.

--It is sickening to hear how women and girls are treated in polygamy.  I have always known it would be horrible, but it is worse than I could've imagined.  Women have absolutely NO rights in the FLDS polygamous world.

--Teenage girls are forced to marry men that are usually 30-40 years older than them.  Up until that time they are never allowed to be around boys unsupervised, and are never taught about sex.  So, on their wedding night they are essentially raped, and have no way of seeing it coming.

--Few women are allowed to get an education past high school, and their high school education is often very poor.

--I didn't realize how the many small children would end up being neglected, but it makes sense.  Jessop describes how in the family she was forced to marry into, the other wives neglected the 30 plus children because one wife was mentally ill (and not being treated for it), another was rejected by the husband so she would spend all day in her room, and the other wives were vying for the husband's attention.

--As I listen to this sickening hell that these women were subjected too, I started to think about the women in the muslim culture.  Especially, in the Middle East and Africa, but also here in the U.S. strict muslim families require women to be covered head to foot and they literally have no freedom and no rights.

--I will also admit that in some corners of Christian society, women don't have the freedom and rights that they deserve.  I look at how I've  lived over the past 40 years, and I realize that I lived according to rules that I thought were Biblical, but now I think were more man made to keep women submissive.

--I really like the title of Jessop's book, Escape, because it highlights that women have the right to escape from any situation that is infringing upon her freedom and rights.  It only took me 40 years to have the courage to say it.

43rd Anniversary of Women's Equality Day!

Photo Credit: Florida Memory

Today, NARA (National Archives and Records Administration) proudly observes the 43rd anniversary of Women’s Equality Day.

Women’s Equality Day was established in 1971 by Representative Bella Abzug (NY) through a Joint Resolution of Congress. The date of August 26 was chosen to commemorate the passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution, which granted women the right to vote in 1920. NARA holds the 19th Amendment in Record Group 11.

The observance of Women’s Equality Day not only commemorates the passage of the 19th Amendment, but also calls attention to women’s continuing efforts toward full equality. Women have played an integral role in the development of our country, our laws, and our freedom. Throughout the nation’s history, many have championed the full equality, dignity, and respect that are due to all women. Because of their efforts, women have continued their remarkable achievements in virtually every field, gaining positions of leadership in government, education, business, science, and the arts.--NARA

--The George W. Bush Presidential Center shared the above message on their Facebook page.

--I didn't even know there was a Women's Equality Day, so I started to do some research.

--The resolution that was passed by Congress for Women's Equality Day in 1971 resulted in a proclamation a year later by President Nixon. 

Photo Credit: Florida Memory

--Roxcy O'Neal Bolton was the driving force behind Women's Equality Day.  She was inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt and her speech at the 1956 Democrat National Convention.  President Nixon sent Bolton a letter and a copy of the proclamation.

Additional Links:
-Celebrating Women's Equality Day, 2014

First Lady Profile #1--Eleanor Roosevelt!

There was once a young woman, born in 1884, who grew up in the old aristocratic society of New York City and its more exclusive environs.  She conformed to her caste's attitudes toward minorities, women, marriage, and her place in the world.  Yet by the time Eleanor Roosevelt died in 1962, she was known as the First Lady of the world and the champion of African Americans, Jews, women, the young, the poor--virtually all who ever needed a champion.--Diana Dixon Healy

--I love learning about and studying the U.S. Presidents and the First Ladies.  I have a lot of books about them, many from used book sales and thrift stores.

--My goal is to visit every single Presidential home and museum some day.  So far, I have been to 8:

Dwight Eisenhower
Gerald Ford
Abraham Lincoln
Harry Truman
Ronald Reagan
Richard Nixon
Herbert Hoover
Ulysses S. Grant

--I thought I would do a series of profiles on first ladies, and collect the books that I own about them.  I'm starting with Eleanor Roosevelt since I own quite a few books about her.

--I may not agree with some of FDR's policies, but I love the woman that Eleanor Roosevelt was.  She revolutionized the role of first lady.  She advocated for the poor, African Americans and women.

FACTS:
--She was born on October 11, 1884 in New York.  She was named Anna Eleanor by her parents Anna and Elliott Roosevelt. Elliott Roosevelt was the younger brother of Teddy Roosevelt, making Teddy Eleanor's Uncle.
--She was given the nickname "Granny" by her mother, but her father called her, "little golden hair".
--Her mother died when she was 8 of diphtheria, and her father, an alcoholic, died 2 years later from an alcohol related illness.  She was sent to live with her Grandmother.
--She had an unhappy childhood, but flourished when she was sent to a boarding school in England called Allenswood at the age of 15.

--She married Franklin Roosevelt (a distant cousin) on St. Patrick's day in 1905 at the age of 20.  Her Uncle, then President Teddy Roosevelt gave her away at the wedding.
--Her Mother-in-law, Sara was very controlling.  She even bought adjoining townhomes so that she could come over to Franklin and Eleanor's house whenever she wanted.
--Eleanor gave birth to 6 children, 5 boys and 1 girl.  The boys were James, Franklin, Elliott, Franklin Delano, John and the girl was named Anna.  The first Franklin died as an infant.  
--Franklin got elected to the New York State Senate and then became assistant secretary of the navy.  Both of these positions enabled Franklin and Eleanor to move away from Sara.

--World War I enabled Eleanor to stop doing things she hated, like having dinners and teas as social events.  Instead, she was able to jump into volunteer work full-time.  She worked in a canteen at the railroad, the Naval League, visited the naval hospital, worked for the Navy Red Cross and the Navy Relief Society.
--During this time, Eleanor learned of her husband's affair with her social secretary, Lucy Mercer, and was crushed.
--Franklin was stricken by polio in 1921.  His mother wanted him to become an invalid and retire to Hyde Park.  But Eleanor was finally able to stand up to her mother-in-law and fought for Franklin to continue to be active in politics.  Eleanor had this to say about Franklin's illness:

It made me stand on my own two feet in regard to my husband's life, my own life, and my children's training.

--In 1928, Franklin was elected Governor of New York.  This provided a new set of opportunities for Eleanor.  She began traveling and speaking out against segregation in the south.  She taught at a girls' school called Todhunter.  She traveled with her husband to inspect state hospitals and prisons.  She also became active in the women's division of the Democratic party, the Women's Trade Union, and the League of Women Voters.  A historian had this to say about Eleanor:

She became famous not as FDR's wife, but as a major political force to be reckoned with.

--In 1932, Franklin was elected President of the United States.  Eleanor broke all the rules/traditions of what the first lady's role was.  She didn't allow the Secret Service agents to follow her, and instead carried a pistol for protection.
--She held her own press conferences with only women reporters present.  The White House Press Corps called her: "God's gift to newspaperwomen".
--She was the first First Lady to travel across the country.  She traveled and spoke all over the country and didn't shy away from controversial topics, such as child labor in sweatshops.  She gave 70 speeches a year.
--In 1936, she started writing a daily newspaper column entitled, My Day.  By the time of her death she had also written 500 magazine articles and 23 books.
--She fought for women's rights and encouraged them to get involved in politics.  She also fought against racism/prejudice against minorities.


 --She resigned from the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) when they wouldn't rent space to the African-American opera singer Marian Anderson.  She ended up having Anderson sing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, where 75,000 people attended.

--During World War II, she visited soldiers to boost morale.  In the end, she visited 400,000 soldiers and traveled 23,000 miles.  And she didn't just drop into the hospitals.  Admiral Halsey said when she visited the hospitals:

She went into every ward, stopped at every bed and spoke to every patient.

--On April 12, 1945, Franklin Roosevelt died.  Eleanor was asked by Franklin's successor, Harry Truman to be one of three U.S. delegates to the United Nations.
--She continued to speak out for human rights and civil rights, and to fight for what she believed in.
--She died on November 7th, 1962 at the age of 78.

My Eleanor Roosevelt Books:
-Anna Eleanor Roosevelt--Dan Santow
-You Learn by Living--Eleanor Roosevelt
-This I Remember--Eleanor Roosevelt
-Eleanor: The Years Alone--Joseph P. Lash
-Eleanor and Franklin--Joseph P. Lash
-America's First Ladies--Diana Dixon Healy
-First Ladies--Betty Boyd Caroli
-First Ladies of the White House--Nancy J. Skarmeas
-Who's Who of Women in the Twentieth Century--Jean Martin

Horrific Flogging of Woman in Sudan!

Via Gateway Pundit:

Societies that treat women badly, are dangerous societies.~~Condoleeza Rice

I have been outspoken about human rights abuses in other countries, especially against women. Sudan is plagued by genocide in Darfur and their human rights' abuses are atrocious. Sudan is run by Omar al-Bashir, who was listed as the world's 2nd worst dictator by Parade Magazine last year.

Sudan needs our prayer, and the women in the Middle East and other countries need our help and prayers as well.

Two Weeks in Review!!

I have been to Dixon and Aurora, Illinois, Out-in-the-Boonies, Michigan and St. Louis, Missouri in the past 2 weeks! As a result, I've ignored my blog and have a lot to catch up on.

--The pictures above show me at Ronald Reagan's Boyhood Home in Dixon, Illinois! The one is of me with a cardboard cutout of Reagan (obviously). Several people thought my picture of Sarah Palin and I was a cardboard cutout, so I took this one to show people what it does look like ;-)!!

What I missed reporting on:

~~Ecstatic about Proposition C passing by 71%

~~Bummed about the outcome of the Clay County Auditor Race

~~An interesting perspective on the 34th District Senate Race

~~More on the Iranian Woman Stoning Case
Shocker!! She was tortured before her "tv confession". What has been done to this woman and what continues to be done to women all over Iran is reprehensible. We as women from free countries need to start speaking up for our sisters who have no freedoms.

~~Obama shocks no one by supporting a controversial Islam Center near 9/11 site
Sickening!! After seeing the OKC bombing memorial I can't imagine having something to celebrate the likes of Timothy McVeigh close by. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Yet, in his classic decisive nature, he then backtracks his support. What a leader we have, what a man of solid convictions...... I guess he gets a little weak spined when he sees that 2/3rds of the American people don't support something.