Saturday, November 02, 2013

Christi Paul, Christians and Divorce




"Think about it - hasn't every good thing that's happened in your life happened because something 'changed'? So why do we fear it?"--Christi Paul
"If you live off a man's compliments, you'll die from his criticism". - Cornelius Lindsey
Earlier this year, I did a post reviewing Christi Paul's book, Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt.  It is an excellent book, because it shows how difficult it is to leave an abusive marriage as a Christian when it's verbal abuse.

I think the Christian world has done a disservice to women, in that they want marriage to be saved at all costs.  It is a reaction to the high divorce rate, even among Christians.  I understand the reaction, but many women are trampled upon in the process.  The Christian world doesn't want people to come up with "excuses" to get a divorce.  Yet, abuse of any kind is not an excuse.

The other thing that bothers me, and many other divorcees mention this as well, is that often used quote in Christendom and other places, "divorce is the easy way out."  Divorce is many things, but an easy way out, it is not.

I didn't initiate the divorce, and I didn't want my kids to go through the repercussions of divorce, but in reflecting on my marriage, I put up with things that I never should have.  And why did I do that?  It was because Christians aren't supposed to get divorced.
But after four years of a marriage like that, I knew I was either going to have a breakdown or a breakout.  I chose to breakout.  I finally realized I'd rather live authentically than live a lie.--Christi Paul 
Recently, Paul wrote a great article entitled, The Benefits of Verbal Abuse.  Despite it being on the Huffington Post website, it's worth reading.

"The first step to getting what you want is having the courage to get rid of what you don't."--Christi Paul
Paul empowers all women to learn from their difficult situations and change their lives.  She has encouraged and inspired me in my life.  She was hesitant to speak out for many years, but now that she has, she has been a source of great encouragement.  A lesson to all of us to be open to sharing the difficult areas of our life, we never know who we might uplift.    



1 comment:

Robin said...

Excellent post Dee. I suffered through 6 years of verbal and psychological abuse but ended up devastated when my husband filed for divorce. My daddy held me in his arms during one of my crying jags and said "I'm going to ask you in 6 months if you are better off without him and you will be surprised at your answer". In less than 6 months I was able to answer yes. God was and still is my refuge and gave me the strength to get through everything. I'm so proud of you Dee and always include you in my prayers.